Arts & Entertainment: Tacky TV Antennas
A Brief History, Plus How to Make Your Own
Jim Belcher
We didn't know it at the time, but the 1950s were
an era devoted to tackiness. Clothes, furniture, lifestyles ... just about
everything was tacky by today's standards.
Much of the 1950s aura has gone, and no one would
think of duplicating it today. But there is one survivor which continues
to hold promise for turning an otherwise charming interior or exterior
into something which doesn't quite work. I refer, of course, to TV antennae.
Simple physics demands a certain size and shape which clashes quite elegantly
with any decor you choose. It's a potential which has been used quite
broadly and naturally, yet seems to have escaped direct notice.
This article will touch rather briefly on the
basic requirements for a TV antenna, then discuss some of the landscape
jarring units used in the past. Some current models with tacky potential
will be discussed, and finally, the piece de resistance: an antenna you
can make which will make you the subject of discussion and envy at the
neighborhood block party.
Viewed rather brutally, a TV antenna is really
nothing but a big scoop to snatch the signal from an unsuspecting atmosphere.
But the atmosphere has its revenge: the antenna can only be a certain
size for a given TV channel or frequency. The higher the frequency, the
smaller the antenna size. At higher frequencies, that means stacking up
individual antennae of the correct size, to increase the amount of signal
thus obtained. The resulting maze has the potential to destroy even the
most serene of settings.
 Outside
Improvements
Here is a text
book* example of the sort of electronic fungus which was sprouting
on rooftops in the early 1950s. What's odd is that, green with envy for
those who had a TV, no one seemed to notice how this changed the appearance
of the postwar bungalows. This thing looks like the product of a wild
night between a towel rack and a steam radiator. Yet it was accepted as
the sign of a new age. One doesn't see too many of this type of antenna
these days.
 A
slightly more dramatic version is the little number shown at left. Of
course, as the size increased, it gave an excuse to put up a tower to
support the whole thing. The tower in itself added to the tacky aura,
but provided an excellent excuse for its existence.
One occasionally sees these antennae today, still serving their human
masters. Consider the photo at right. Notice how the tower and antenna
detract from the appearance of a charming dwelling.
Interior Decor
But TV antennae weren't limited to the exterior of dwellings. True, there
was a limited amount of damage one could do to the appearance of a 1950s
living room, but TV antennae could certainly do their part. If one lived
in town, near the TV station, the standard TV antenna was the rabbit ears
.
 Rabbit
ears: the name sounds cute, as though one was placing a little bunny rabbit
in the room with your family. Of course, no rabbit ever had two foot,
thin, aluminum ears. Nor did a rabbit ever cause ghost images to appear
on your TV screen whenever a family member walked across the room. Or
require that the length of its ears and the direction it was facing be
changed whenever someone changed the TV channel. The constant physical
activity associated with rabbit ears probably has much to do with the
level of exercise and physical well-being of the American family of the
1950s. As a plus, the need to hop up and change the antenna slightly creates
an additional level of tackiness in the presence of company. Normal conversation
becomes impossible; the only thing which might have been more disruptive
would have been for the thing to need regular trips outside for physical
relief. Despite their popularity, rabbit ears were just as tacky technically
as they were in appearance. The slender rods forming the ears really didn't
match the electrical needs of the set, turning and changing things just
minimized the error.
 But
if rabbit ears didn't have quite the tacky effect one desired, there were
other models available for set top use. The effects could be awe inspiring.
Consider the drawing at left: this antenna appears to have started life
as rabbit ears, but someone bent the rabbit's ears, then stuck a hair
curler over them. Did it work any better than regular rabbit ears? Probably
not, but it looks impressive. If that wasn't enough, there was the deluxe
Frankenstein's monster version
. This device looks impressive, but think how clashing it must have been
amongst more civilized ornaments in the room!
Modern Interior Finishing
Touches
If all thing sounds like an attempt to say we've come a long, long, way,
nothing could be further from the truth. It is still possible buy antennae
which look just as tacky, and in some cases work just as poorly.  At
left is a tacky little number, made, no doubt to look like a satellite
antenna. Now, small dish satellite antennae work at a frequency something
like 2,000 times that of UHF channels. There's no way this shape is going
to improve performance at regular TV frequencies, but think of the potential
impact on your interior decor! If this antenna doesn't clash sufficiently
with whatever remains of the original decor of your room, consider the
unit at right .
It has a bit of the flavor of an old aircraft antenna, or perhaps a 1930's
vintage car steering wheel. In any event, it's almost certain to clash
with anything you may have.
None of these indoor antennae clash badly enough?
There's at least one more one might consider for extreme cases. This antenna
mixes what little good taste remained in the pseudo-satellite dish version
with other elements.  At
first glance, it looks as though screen material may have been stolen
from a screen door, or perhaps the protective grill from an old fan was
added. The old fan motif is cleverly carried out with circular object
in the middle which looks a little like a fan motor. It's possible the
figure eight may be meant to represent fan blades. In any event, the overall
effect is ghastly, and looks totally out of place anywhere.
Incidentally, all of the current TV antennae shown
have been offered recently on eBay.
If you're looking for a place to pick up things which add that special
tacky touch, it has real possibilities.
 Many
of the current antennae have built in amplifiers. Frankly, one can't amplify
signal that isn't there, and these amplifiers are hidden within the antenna,
so they do little to detract from the appearance of a room. However, separate
amplifiers can have value if they are sufficiently bulky, and have enough
wires dangling from them. Any well-decorated room can be transformed into
a tacky maze of wires with a little effort. Consider the example at right:
a TV amplifier being used to drive a TV, a separate TV receiver, an FM
tuner, and a VCR. As a bonus, the extra power and signal wiring this adds
can be a real asset in destroying any semblance of order the room might
have had. A really tacky household should consider adding equipment like
this even if it isn't really needed.
 Modern
Exterior Touches
It's still possible to dress down the exterior of one's house. Some of
the newer antennae aren't as messy as the older designs, but that can
be countered by installing multiple antennae. There are a few designs,
however, that can detract from anything. At right is an ultra high gain
UHF antenna that can destroy the exterior appearance of something as lowly
as a warehouse. It may look innocent, but this antenna measures seven
feet in diameter! The sheer size alone offsets anything in the general
vicinity.
An Antenna You Can
Build
The antenna described here is fairly simple to build, but can contribute
greatly to the demise of the decor of any room. The antenna can be built
to receive VHF TV or FM stations. It has about the same ability to receive
signals as a pair of rabbit ears; this can be improved slightly by mounting
the antenna outside. Both the inside and outside versions will be described,
although both start with the same basic construction.
One obtains a coil of TV twin lead from an electronics
store, a soldering iron, and some solder. Twin lead has two wires in it,
one on either side. Cut a piece of the twin lead twice the value of D
(from the table), plus an inch. Strip half an inch of the insulation from
both ends of the twin lead. This will expose two wires. Twist the wires
together, and solder them (Figure
1, Figure 2). Cut
one of the sides of the twinlead at the center point, leaving one wire
exposed on either side of the center. Strip about half an inch of insulation
from each exposed wire. Set this aside for the moment. From the larger
piece of twin lead originally purchased, strip half an inch of insulation
from each of the wires on one end. Twist each of the wires to one of the
wires in the center of the piece previously prepared (Figure
3), and solder the joint. The "T" shaped piece is the actual antenna.
The twin lead running away from the antenna is connected to the receiver
(300 ohm input). Cut this lead to length on installation. This antenna
can be dumped on the floor in a semi-hidden place, or perhaps stapled
to a wall in a more visible location. It all depends on the effect one
wishes to achieve.
The Exterior Version
If this antenna doesn't produce quite enough signal, or one wishes an
exterior effect, the antenna can be mounted to a support (Figure
4). The support can be made from wood dowel, or a similar non-conducting
material. PVC water pipe is a good choice. Half-inch PVC is sturdy enough
for the purpose, but 3/4" or 1" will work just as well.  Cut
two pieces of the PVC to the length "D", from table 1. Cement them to
either side of a PVC "T". Cut one longer length of PVC pipe to whatever
length is needed to support and elevate the assembly. Cement it to the
center of the "T". If one wishes, PVC caps may be added to the open ends
of the pipe. However, leaving the pipe ends open adds the possibility
that some manner of interesting creature may nest therein, adding to the
overall effect. Tape the twin lead antenna previously manufactured to
the support with black electrical tape (Figure
5). Other kinds of tape will work as well, but be sure to use nonmetallic
tape. Mount the assembly by the pipe attached to the center section, with
the broad side facing the broadcasting station (Figure
6). Antenna clamps are available achieve this, but bent nails work
quite well, and add to the overall effect. If this doesn't suffice, leftover
Christmas wrapping tape may be applied to add to the overall effect (Figure
7). Once again, be certain not to use tape containing metal. Enjoy
your antenna!
*And well it should be,
because I swiped this drawing directly from the text book I had in an
engineering course.
|
