Tacky Living - Ugly Flower Pens

Home & Garden: Ugly Flower Pens We first encountered flower pens while signing a credit card receipt at the doctor's office. A grotesque plastic bouquet crudely taped to a cheap ink pen was proffered by the receptionist. When your orifices are due to be probed, writing with one of these wobbling assemblages is literally adding insult to injury. Hideous as this flower pen was, it was clear it could be made worse with just a little bit of effort. We're happy to share the fruits - or should we say flowers? - of our research with you.
		Supplies • Cheap stick pens • Florist's tape • Fake flowers • Cardboard or thin craft foam • Fine tipped permanent marker • Glue • Craft knife

		Choosing flowers We're going to give our flowers faces, so we've chosen ones which have a round area in the center.

		The fuzzy center This flower had a fuzzy disk glued to its center. We've removed it so that we can glue a face on instead.

		The face Cut a circle from craft foam or cardboard. It should be large enough to cover the center of the flower. It's fine if the circle is uneven; imperfections will add character. Using a permanent marker, draw a face on the circle. Cartoonish facial features like buck teeth and drunken x-shaped eyes work well. Glue the face to the flower's center.

		Tatter petals and leaves Using a craft knife, shred the flower's petals and leaves until they're quite tattered.

		Attach flower to pen Using floral tape, attach the flower to the pen. Wind additional tape around the length of the pen to disguise it.

		Plant your flower A natural home for an ugly flower pen is a terra cotta pot. Glass marbles work well for holding the pen upright in the pot.

		Stand back and admire your bouquet Here we have a whole family of drunk, surprised and angry flowers ready for an office near you.