Travel & Leisure: Crazy Daisy
"Super Dooper Crazy Pooper" Jelly Bean Dispenser

Depending on your viewpoint, Easter is either a Pagan holiday celebrating fertility, a Christian holiday celebrating the resurrection of Christ, or both. Or neither. Regardless, this pooping cow is a wonderfully - dare we say deliciously? - inappropriate way to commemorate the holiday.

Sandwiched in between Easter egg dyeing kits and Peeps at a local craft store, at first glance it seemed unremarkable, particularly compared with the wide variety of marshmallow creatures in all of their microwaveable glory. Then the words on its packaging slowly sank in: "Super Dooper Crazy Pooper". Clearly this was an item that warranted closer inspection. Before we could be struck down by an unwelcome bolt of sanity, we forked over three dollars and fled the store.

Once back at the Tacky Living Consumer Testing Lab, we carefully extracted the cow from its blister pack. Would it really excrete jelly beans, or was this merely a marketing exaggeration? Only a complete, uh, end-to-end test would provide the proof.

Following the illustration on the back of the package, we pried open the cow's head. This gave an educational and disturbing view of its alimentary canal and allowed us to insert the "yummy" jelly beans which the manufacturer had thoughtfully provided. Closing the cow's head proved more challenging, requiring a certain amount of banging and angry muttering. Finally the head was closed and we were ready for our experiment.

We placed the cow on a flat surface and, following another helpful illustration on the packaging, gently pushed on its back. Its tail rose, then faltered and fell bashfully. Another push, more firmly this time, and we were rewarded with a "yummy jelly bean".

There you have it, investigative reporting at its best.

Crazy Daisy is distributed by Midlon Foods, 6100 Cote de Liesse, Saint-Laurent, Quebec H4T 1E3. Their email address is midlon@midlon.com.