Book Review: Mini-Mart à la Carte
Tasty Recipes for the Convenience Store Connoisseur
Tanya A. Brown
 Consider,
if you will, the dust-covered cans of Vienna sausages sitting on the shelf
of your local 7-Eleven. Who eats these? What do they taste like? And why
on earth did the Viennese create such tiny sausages?
I've never worked up the nerve to buy a can, but
the authors of Mini-Mart à la Carte
did. In the name of culinary artistry, Christopher Rouser and Victoria
Traig deftly combined potato chips, bean dip, and Vienna sausages to create
a dish called "Poop on a Pringle".
Mini-Mart à
la Carte is a cookbook centered around ingredients available at
the typical local mini-mart. Some authors might skip the grosser items
like pickled pig's feet and head straight for the Bisquick; instead Rouser
and Traig glory in these oddities, transforming them into delicacies like
"New England SPAM Chowder" and "Salami Goulash".
"If the mini-mart is your safe haven in the
sea of grocery stores, bakeries, and butcher shops, then you've found
the only cookbook you'll ever need," the authors tell us, "We
will show you how to whip up extraordinary dishes with minimal effort,
minimal cost, and maximum convenience."
 And
extraordinary they are. What could be more lyrical than a Trojan horse
carved of SPAM, oozing a luscious stream of molten Velveeta? Pair this
with a bag of chips and a six pack of your favorite swill and you have
the makings of a gracious party.
Or how about serving cocktails of Smirnoff and
Pepto-Bismol, allowing your guests to simultaneously get potted and cure
their indigestion? Touches like that will be remembered long after your
soirée is over, cementing your reputation as a thoughtful host.
I must admit that some of the recipes brought
a tear of nostalgia to my eye. The Rabid Dog, for instance, is an inspired
combination of powdered creamer and Mad Dog 20/20 Orange Jubilee. There
were many times in my youth when I ran out of food during the night shift
and dipped into the Coffee-Mate out of desperation. Ah, those were the
days!
Creations like the Wiener Bean Bucket, marrying
beans and hot dogs with select condiments, brought back fond memories
of a childhood spent transforming similar ingredients into family meals.
SPAM, wieners, sardines - these are the meat products of my people!
Not content to serve up a generous selection of
appetizers, entrees, and drinks, the authors also provide a dazzling array
of desserts. Who doesn't love that miniaturization of the Bouche de Noel,
the unpretentious Ho-Ho? And when the Ho Ho is transformed back into another
Frenchy desert, petits fours - or, as they're referred to in the cookbook,
"Ho Cakes" - sheer genius is the result.
When you read these recipes, you'll want to try
them. And since you've probably got a 24-hour mini-mart nearby, you won't
even have to wait. Now, where does 7-Eleven keep those Vienna sausages?
Get
book from Amazon.com
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