Home & Garden: Grapes of Blat Tissue Cover

Once upon a time, having an arrangement of fake (and often dusty) grapes on one's coffee table was pretty much a decorating requirement. Heaven knows how the trend got started, but the grapes were certainly of a piece with the dark paneling, hideous hanging lamps and platter-sized ashtrays of the time.

Although those days have long since passed, you can acknowledge them with a nod and a wink with this tissue box cover. This craft provides what we think is a thoughtful and creative use for fake fruit, using it as raw mosaic material. It also has a certain cheerful hideousness about it: what awful thing occurred in the vineyard to make the plants produce bunches shaped like large blocks? Perhaps the tissue box is an escaped remnant of a bioengineering project? The possibilities boggle the mind!

As you can probably tell from looking at the photo at right, this project is extremely simple. You may not even need instructions, but we'll provide them anyhow.

Supplies:

• Plastic grapes
  • If you'd like a more unified "this is a mutant bunch of grapes" look, stick to one color and variety of fake grapes. If you'd prefer a more varied look, as shown above, try an arrangement using several types.
  • You'll probably need at least three or four bunches of grapes. Unfortunately, it's impossible to give a more accurate estimate because the sizes and number per bunch vary so much from brand to brand.
• E6000 or similar craft adhesive
  • Unfortunately, more innocuous adhesives such as white glue and hot melt glue just won't stick to the plastic grapes very long.
  • Although E6000 is effective, it has nasty fumes. Please be careful when you use it and follow the cautions on the packaging.
• Commercially made tissue box cover or empty tissue box
  • One can often find commercially made tissue box covers at craft stores. They're usually made of wood or papier maché, and they look very nice. Unfortunately, they don't necessarily fit over all tissue boxes.
  • An empty tissue box will work if the bottom is cut off, but it will fit very snugly when used as a cover over a similar box.

Instructions

1. Pull leaves and grapes off faux grape clusters.
2. If you're going to decorate a leftover tissue box, prepare it to be a box cover by carefully cutting off its bottom.
3. Glue the grapes to the tissue box cover. You can either glue them in rows as we have, for that "industrial grape bunch" look, or glue them on randomly.
4. Glue on grape leaves to act as accents.
5. Let the box cover fully dry.
6. Place it over a box of tissue and admire your stunning workmanship. It is probably safe to say that you'll be the only one in your neighborhood - nay, your entire city! - with one of these little beauties.