Home & Garden: The Essential Garden Accent

You're visiting an old friend and the past week has been wonderful. The best restaurants, no chores, being waited on hand and foot .... if only life could be like this every day! And you have another glorious, marvelous week to look forward to, because your friend has invited you to stay on - although when you accepted, their spouse had an odd expression. Gas pains, perhaps?

There you are, ambling through your friend's garden, drinking in the clean, moist early morning air and contemplating the hedonistic pleasures of the week to come. Dewdrops tickle your toes, causing stray bits of earth and plant matter to stick. You know that you should rinse off your feet before going indoors, but then again, why worry? You won't be mopping the floor.

You catch sight of something intriguing - how marvelous it is when gardens have little surprises tucked around!

It's a rock, peeping from behind a cluster of delicate pink flowers. And it has some sort of elegant engraving. How wonderful! It's one of those stones that are carved with thought-provoking, life-affirming phrases! What a perfect accent for a garden. Let's take a closer look at it. It says ... hmmm ... it says "Leave Me Alone". Odd. Didn't notice that there yesterday.

Less enchanted than you were five minutes ago, you stroll a bit further and discover another rock, this time plunked square in the middle of the path. "Go Away", it declares. This time you're quite sure that it wasn't in the garden yesterday. How creepy! It's almost as though someone is trying to tell you something. Suddenly you realize that it's been a lovely week, but it's time to head home.

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These rocks are darned near indispensable for situations like the one related above, and are versatile enough to be used on friends, relatives, and neighbors alike - in fact, anyone who can read and understand simple English phrases.

A thrifty investment, the stones will last a lifetime. A composition of 100% resin guarantees that you'll never have to worry about their aging - unlike regular rocks which can chip, biodegrade, sprout moss, or otherwise grow untidy.

At only $3 apiece in close out stores, they're a steal! Similar stones can be found in garden catalogs for a premium price, but will require your deciding between a larger selection of phrases. Why bother? "Go Away" and "Leave Me Alone" are sufficient for most human relationships.